Though not a physical death, divorce is another loss many of us will experience. Like death, divorce can be preceded or followed by mourning for a myriad of reasons that are as unique to us as the relationship we were involved in. Below, I share a portion of the story of my own divorce and what it taught me about honoring my past and making peace with the memory of the love I lost.

Perhaps we are driven by an unquenchable longing for touch, to hold and be held, to make things or smash them with our clenched fists. Life’s purpose may be to be close to or collide with the physical and emotional boundaries of others in their bodies whose thoughts and motivations are a mystery. What changes about our daily lives if we consider the possibility that we came here to have a brief moment in the length of eternity where nothing is known for sure, all is unscripted and where your experience is literally in your own hands?

If anyone were to walk in on the last moments of the Death Cafes I host, they might think there was a party going on. There is laughter, excitement, animated voices and usually wild hand gestures as people tell their stories. After over an hour of intense conversation, the lightness that comes from giving ourselves permission to laugh at death is palpable.